


Harness & Spears

by Tintentrinkerin



Series: Former God!Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coming Untouched, Dad!Castiel, Dysfunctional Relationships, Frottage, Grinding, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Sam Winchester Being Sam Winchester, Slow Build, Symbolism, Virgin Jack Kline, i promise there will be plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:41:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29355156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tintentrinkerin/pseuds/Tintentrinkerin
Summary: [Sequel to Innocence Lost]Nothing is resolved by now, Jack lives in the aftermath of the events in Gilead and Sam is weirdly distant. They have to find a way to deal with their issues and fears.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jack Kline/Sam Winchester
Series: Former God!Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200263
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. PRELUDE

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to "Innocence Lost", reading this oneshot first is important to understand the story.  
> I will update the warnings and tags on the go, because teasing what's going to happen is not my cup of tea. I advice you to read the tags very closely before reading a new chapter, it might come up something new. I will also write the new tags in the notes to every chapter, too.  
> Yes, the PRELUDE has a french stanza in it, taken from "La Serpent qui danse" by Charles Baudelaire, if you suck at french, like me, just google it and you'll find great translations I won't quote here.

**PRELUDE**

_ Tes yeux, où rien ne se révèle _

_ De doux ni d'amer, _

_ Sont deux bijoux froids où se mêle _

_ L'or avec le fer. _

[Le Serpent qui danse - Charles Baudelaire, Les Fleurs Du Mal]

**Dramatis Personae**

A Turtle

A Porcupine

A Scorpion

A Blackbird

The Peacock

The Mother

The Eunuch

The Rigid One


	2. Basic Oneirology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be supportive Cas and Samjack smut in this chapter. Enjoy :)

**Basic Oneirology**

It’s been two days since Sam kissed Jack and it feels like Jack just had a hazy dream about it. Sam had let him sleep in his bed, given. They didn’t talk after that, there was only the blanket, Sam’s strong arms and heavy sighs in the darkness. But after that, Sam didn’t make a single effort to come closer to Jack than he already was. It drove Jack up the wall. 

Shit about the explosion in Gilead hit the news and after a meeting of Cas, Dean, Sam and Jack they decided Cas needed to zap there and calm things down. Work his mojo, as Dean called it. Jack was secretly happy he didn’t need to go there again, because he didn’t know how to live with the memories in his head already. It was hard to put it in words and the longer he waited, the worse it got. Sam’s silence and lack of courting just made it worse. How was this supposed to work with a mess in Jack’s head and this awkward tension between him and Sam? 

It’s not like Jack doesn’t know Sam is into him. He feels the quickened heartbeat, smells the odor of Sam’s sweat and the enmeshed aura of something Jack would call lust at this point. Sam reeks of it most of the time but more than subtle touches, smiles, and biting his lip doesn’t happen at all. It’s unnerving. 

Now Jack kind of understands why Dean spends so much time in the gym room or the swimming pool in the basement. He needs to work off his frustration, his anger, and all the things he usually bottles up or drowns in whiskey. Jack avoids him as much as possible anyway because what’s between him and Sam makes Jack utterly uncomfortable. They don’t yell anymore but they also don’t talk. Cas has to do the talking but even he dropped it and said very clearly he’s not a messenger or a carrier pigeon. What is absolutely right and good for Cas to say and cut off the brothers’ attempts to use Cas as a scapegoat. Dean knew Jack had slept in Sam’s room and obviously, that was enough to be mad - again. Jack also wouldn’t tell him that nothing happened. It simply wasn’t Dean’s business what happened behind this closed door and Jack needed to cling to this feeling, the memory of the night and how it felt to kiss Sam. 

He thinks of it in the daytime, nighttime, the time in between, in front of others, in the loneliness of his room. It makes him feel extra aroused but equally lonely. It feels unreal. Why did Sam shut him out?

It’s a night like many for Jack when he either stares at the ceiling or wanders around the corridors. The wandering is a thing he still does but he senses Dean and then keeps away from him. Tonight, Dean’s not up or at least he’s not in the library and that’s quite comfy for Jack, he’s into philosophy now, reading Schopenhauer, Platon, Sokrates, a little bit of Kierkegaard and even Simone de Beauvoir. He stumbles upon Tolkien and the Inklings even though he has no idea how his mind webs this net. He reads about the principles of love, the so-called ‘four loves’, and the triangular theory of love. It all mixes up with the experiences he already made, he classifies and evaluates his relationships but he always ends up with the thought, if Sam really loves him the same way, if he shuts off like this. After just one kiss, that didn’t even have tongue. Which Jack very much regrets. He should’ve been more open, do the first step, just take what he wants and that’s Sam. Goddammit. Jack rubs his face when he puts down his tablet and drinks half a bottle of water in one go. He gets headaches from crying and thinking about love and it’s really frustrating to love a man who obviously lives from food, air and sleep and doesn’t even dare to look at Jack the ‘wrong way’. 

Cas enters the library and Jack jumps in his seat.

“Goddammit, Cas! You’re sneaky”, Jack groans and rubs his chest. 

But the seraph is fairly unimpressed and also fairly naked for his usual style. He wears a worn-out, ripped shirt of AC/DC and black shorts. His hair is messy and he looks like he needs a sip of water too. 

“Sorry, Jack”, he says and falls in the seat beside his foster son. “Didn’t mean to scare you. I came back two hours ago from Gilead. People won’t ever remember you were there. Hunter and his gang moved on to another town, but I didn’t go after them for now.”

Jack gets goosebumps when he thinks of Hunter, the weird bald guy who attempted to do “bad things” to Jack, as Sam would call it. Or gang rape, how Dean put it. The truth might be somewhere in the middle; he rather not thinks about it too much. But what is more irritating to Jack than the memory of his own stupidity is how naked Cas looks without his trenchcoat.

“Do you know I never saw you without your tie and your coat? You look so naked, it’s  _ obscene _ ”, Jack says in a low voice.

Cas just looks at him in a manner as if Jack just farted in his face.

“You know, I sometimes indeed get undressed. And I’m naked a lot, you just don’t see it, because it’s with Dean--”

“Okay, okay, I don’t need details about your love life.”

“Sex life”, Cas corrects.

“Just shut up. You make me jealous.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. 

“How do you mean that? Aren’t you and Sam together now?”

Jack sighs deeply and shrugs. 

“I don’t know. When we talked two days ago, there was something, but since then….” he looks at Castiel lost in his misery, “I thought he likes me, I mean, he acted like it and now he’s… plain awkward and I feel like he’s embarrassed he kissed me.” 

The thought actually hurts the most. That possibly, just hypothetically, Sam regrets what he did and even thinks it was a  _ mistake _ . Something to never do again. Damn, if he really thinks like that Jack might just run away and do his God stuff again. 

“I feel like an idiot”, he then adds. “I did something very stupid and dangerous in Gilead, I know, and I feel bad about it, but also…”, Jack shifts in his seat, “it made Sam realize I’m human in a very carnal sense. And now it feels weird and uncomfortable and I miss him.”

There are tears about to roll down Jack’s face and he angrily wipes them away with the seam of his shirt. It’s unfair. 

“I understand”, Cas says in his grave voice.

“You do?”

“I guess”, Cas takes a sip of water before ending his sentence. “I’m not human like you, and actually, so many things about them are confusing and downright irrational, but - I know how it feels to long for someone. To miss them.” 

He looks over to Jack and then puts his hand on the Nephil’s knee. 

“Sam is a great man, he’s caring and he’s strong, but he has a weight to carry, too. Human life is complex and Sam is a shining example. He’s been through a lot, but I can’t tell you all of it. I don’t want to disrespect Sam’s privacy, he’s very fierce about defending that.”

That’s something Jack understands.

“Is that why he’s so distant?”

“I would say he doesn’t mean it the way you feel it”, Cas explains patiently, “You will get to know him better and better with every day and it will be clearer why he seems ... well, Dean would call it prude. I actually think Sam is very assertive in bed.”

“ _ Cas! _ ”, Jack cries. 

Heat flushes all over his face and his ears when he imagines Sam having sex. Not particularly with himself but maybe… there’s been women, he knows that. 

“You have to crack him. Like a coconut.” Cas goes on, “But gently.”

“First steps shouldn’t be my responsibility, I have no idea about courting.”

“And maybe that’s one reason why Sam is so shy. He isn’t sure he’s the right one to practice.”

“You say it like I’m learning how to drive.”

“It is a lot like learning how to drive. And I know, being the one who gives in and comes after the other is a pain in the ass. But he probably won’t do it. And if you don’t want to wait forever, it’s worth a shot. He’s awake. You know that, right?”

Jack nods and brushes away non existent dust from his briefs. He is painfully aware of Sam’s tension, about the brooding, his faint footstep. The open laptop shining in his room. The humming of the air conditioning.

“Of course I know.”

Cas gets up. 

“Go. I need to go back to Dean anyway. I told him I’d go get my blanket.”

“Why do you need your own blanket?”

“Because he keeps on wrapping himself in his own like a grumpy burrito.”

Jack laughs faintly. 

“You make him sound less terrifying when you say that.”

“He isn’t  _ terrifying _ , Jack. He is  _ terrified _ .” 

There are so many layers to that statement that Jack isn’t sure if he ever wants to peel it off and see the Dean that Cas sees. Or Sam. The vulnerable one, not the vile and mean one, the cold and hot one. The sharp and hurtful one. It’s hard to think about Dean as a weak person, he comes off as very brave and dashing, and holy hell he  _ scares  _ Jack. Jack who’s been godlike. Maybe still is. He almost blew up a house while being drugged with a dose high enough to kill a rhino.

“I’m going”, he says. “I hate waiting and I love Sam.”

“I’m sure everything will fall into place, Jack. You won’t let anyone stop you, right?”

“Never.”

-

The situation feels like a few days ago, when Jack knocked at Sam’s door. The feeling of being a suppliant isn’t pleasant at all, but he knows there won’t be much of another choice if he wants to be with Sam. He knocks. Quickened heartbeat, a chair scraping along the floor, the smell of sweat. Damn, does Sam know it’s him?

“Sam, it’s me, Jack.”

He waits and listens for other sounds. He hears Sam sigh and he can imagine the gesture behind it. Brushing his hair back, rubbing his chin. Gestures Jack loves so much. 

“It’s 2am.”

Jack huffs.

“I know, you told me how to read clocks. 12 hour and 24 hour pattern. Can I come in?”

There’s a rustle and Jack hopes Sam isn’t putting on too much clothes. 

“Yeah. Sure.”

Jack enters the room. Sam is in sweatpants, which is a very unusual sight. His shirt is tight around his chest, damn, his strong chest. Jack tries not to stare but fails miserably, he knows it. 

“What is it?”, Sam asks, avoiding Jack’s gaze.

“I think you know, Sam.” 

Jack stands as long as Sam doesn’t offer him a seat, and like always, there’s only his narrow bed and a chair, Sam’s room is not really something Jack would call cozy. He tries to read in Sam’s face, and there’s a nervous lip bite, short breath and all over nervousness, but as soon as Sam composed himself he looks at Jack much more distant, closed off. Jack wants to punch a wall. He never feels rage, but right now… his fists clench.

“You kissed me two days ago, oh, no, three days by now, you tell me you have romantic feelings for me and yet you avoid me at all costs. You barely talk to me. I have to admit I thought we would be a bit closer than we are.”

And that’s an understatement. 

Sam’s forehead furrows. He’s not used to it that Jack talks like this. Demanding. Pissed off. And yet Jack is so hurt and so needy for Sam’s touch and love. He looks at Jack, like he’s seeing him the first time but then he shifts and his eyes narrow. Did Jack go too far? He doesn’t know, but he needs to get this off his chest. 

“Don’t look at me like I’m a child. I thought we were over this.”

Sam sighs.

“Look, Jack, it’s not that easy, okay? I know what I said and what I did, but I still worry.”

Jack crosses his arms. 

“And about what exactly could you worry about?”

“That’s it’s not the right thing to do.”

Jack feels the anger boiling in his stomach and his face starts burning from the heat. He can feel it creeping along his neck and ears to his cheeks. He blushes when he’s angry, which is so not helping right now.

“I think it’s right. I  _ feel _ it’s right. I feel it in my guts. You can’t unsay things, you can’t undo things. And you can’t make me stop longing for you.”

Sam’s face slackens. He wants to object - what Sam loves doing apparently - but Jack keeps talking. 

“Don’t you dare tell me I’m not capable of knowing that. It’s hurtful and it’s wrong. I know very well what I feel for you. And that I  _ want _ you.”

“You are inexperienced, how could you know it’s right? It could be a huge mistake.”

“ _ Sam _ .”

“What?”

“You’re being unfair, hurtful and all of it for the wrong reasons. Why? I know what you feel. Right now. Your whole body is shaking inside. And it’s the same what I feel when I’m around you and it gets cataclysmic when you touch me, let alone kiss me.”

“Being horny is not a good adviser”, Sam counters. 

“I’m not just horny, you fool. I’m in love.”

Jack feels his shoulders drop. He’s so tired right now. Sam is as stubborn and dumb as all the donkeys that are in the fables Jack loves to read. 

“Jack.”

“WHAT.”

“We could hurt each other very very badly.”

“We could make each other very very happy, too?”

Silence. Jack melts at the look in Sam’s face and he knows why Dean can literally never say no to him. Soulful eyes, sorrowful eyes. Jack wonders what hides behind this sorrow and this rational behavior, the walls that Sam built up to shut people out. Not only Jack, others too. He makes two steps towards Sam and when he wraps his arms around Sam’s shoulders he smells the strong scent that’s uniquely Sam, mixed up with all the hormones, the salty smell of sweat. Sam stiffens, but then hugs Jack back. Jack is about to really just lean in and fall into Sam’s body, he’s so weak right now. 

“We can make each other happy, Sam. I know I’ve done something stupid and dangerous, but I’ve learned my lesson about it. And I trust you. You’re not some weirdo from a hookup app, are you?”

Sam hums and kisses Jack’s hair, breathing in and out loudly. 

“I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“If being hurt is the price of being with you, I’ll endure a lot, believe me. I don’t need protecting, I don’t need you being all fatherly. I need you in so many other ways.”

Jack looks up and their eyes meet. He seizes the moment and presses his lips on Sam’s. The feeling makes his body feel like a volcano about to erupt. Sam doesn’t deny him, but he isn’t all into it at first also. When the Nephil moans and shifts in the hug, Sam grips his shoulders and squeezes Jack tightly. It’s a reflex. Like Jack did it already a thousand times, but he didn’t. His lips part and his tongue meets Sam’s lips. A shared, deep sigh and Jack’s voice sounds so thin and shaky, pleading. It feels like he’s all tingly, his skin is crawling, his fingers tangle in Sam’s hair. 

“Sam…”, he whispers. “Sam…”

Jack pushes Sam on the bed, it’s just another step backwards. Sam pulls him along and Jack collides on Sam’s lap. His shorts and Sam’s sweatpants don’t really hide how excited both are now. Fuck, Sam’s hands trace along Jack’s back, slide underneath the fabric. Jack’s pleasure noises get louder and louder, way too loud. His moans sound like whines and Sam breaks away for a second. 

“Jack, are you okay?”

“Okay is an understatement”, he says breathlessly, “please don’t stop kissing me, Sam. God, please, don’t stop.”

“You sound like you’re in pain… I thought--”

“I’m in the exact opposite of pain,  _ please. _ ”

Sam smiles and kisses Jack’s lips, along his neck and Jack feels like he’s about to die right here and there. His fingernails scrape along Sam’s skin and he presses his burning face on Sam’s shoulder. It’s so much, Jack never expected it to be that intense. That mind blowing. And that good! The strong hands roaming his hips and back suddenly pull him underneath Sam’s body and Jack moans in surprise. He’s not protesting, not at all. But he’s surprised and overwhelmed. 

Before Sam can ask, Jack utters “I’m good, I’m good!”, he doesn’t want it to stop just now. He gets curious, too. Sam’s skin feels hot under Jack’s fingertips, the heat is immense and burning away things even Jack might worry about. His legs open instinctively, needs Sam to climb between them and he does. Jack grinds against the hot body upon him, the friction makes Jack gasp. He feels that Sam is hard as a rock and oh, damn. It’s the first time Jack receives pleasure from another person, not his own hands, not his own mind. Not anything he watched in erotica, adult material. Jack feels the tension grow and he wants to touch Sam, wants to feel him, more. Deeper. Harder. 

“ _ Sam _ …”, he whimpers, “I can’t- I feel-”

“We can stop”, Sam whispers on Jack’s wet, swollen lips. 

“No! Don’t!”

If Sam stops right now, he will die of starvation, that’s how he feels. Sam’s hand slides down Jack’s stomach, gets closer and closer, and then cups Jack’s ass, no touching where Jack needs it, wants it, is dying for it. And now Jack knows what grinding really feels like. The friction, the heat - the tingles. The feelings grow so intense and thrilling Jack starts feeling physically sick. 

“ **_Sam_ ** …”, Jack moans. Again. There’s nothing else but this name on his mind and the touching of their bodies. 

Everything happens so fast, Jack gets washed away by his pleasure and he cums right in his pants, just from grinding against Sam. He jerks up and bites Sam’s lip in euphoria and the waves of release that violently shake his body. It’s the best feeling, the best climax Jack has experienced so far but as soon as his mind clears a little he sobs and hides his face in his hand. 

“Oh my God, sorry!”, he says, ultimately embarrassed, “Sorry, Sam!”

But there’s no laughter, nothing that shows his lover is amused or spiteful. Just light kisses on his shoulder. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Nothing to be sorry about.” 

Sam’s voice is warm and caring and Jack dares to pull away his hands and look up in the familiar, beloved face. Sam’s hazel eyes are glassy. Jack’s lips are trembling a little. 

“I made a mess, that’s so awkward.”

His head falls in the pillow. Sam kisses his lips, caresses along the exposed firm hips, up the sides and then brushes Jack’s chin with his thumb. 

“Don’t worry about it, when I was with… well, when I was with someone the first time, it happened to me, too. It’s normal.”

There is the first bread crumb for Jack to follow deep into the woods and he bites.

“Who was it?”

Sam rolls off Jack’s body, but pulls him in a hug. He really doesn’t care about Jack’s cum smearing all over his pants and his shirt, too. 

“Her name was Amy. Amy Pond.”

“That’s a nice name”, Jack says, “did you guys get together?”

“No”, Sam says, “the life of a hunter isn’t made for lasting relationships with someone… well, out of the life but also it’s not easy between hunters to date. Amy was a kitsune, actually.”

“She  _ was _ ?”

“Yes”, Sam nods. “Yes, she’s dead.”

“Did you kill her?”

That’s a question that makes Sam sigh deeply and it sounds bitter. 

“No, Dean did a couple of years ago.”

Jack raises his eyebrows. 

“A couple years ago? What happened in between?”

Sam presses Jack’s face against his throat and Jack feels his Adam's apple move when Sam gulps. 

“That’s a story for another day.”


	3. Should I stay or should I go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just pure smut. Because I wanted it to be.

Jack wakes up in the morning in Sam’s tight hug and it feels, not going to lie, amazing. Jack loves Sam’s scent oh so much and smelling it when he wakes up, that’s downright heavenly. But it just takes the second of a blink for Jack to realize that his hips are subconsciously rocking, Sam’s hands are around his waist and Jack is hard as a rock. He’s experienced this before, it happens a lot in the mornings and often has nothing to do with him having actual arousal. It’s more a thing his body seems to do every now and then. But this feeling now, it’s definitely arousal, it’s because he’s close to Sam, because of what happened last night and that Sam gave Jack one of his own briefs, since Jack ruined his own while making out. 

Jack sighs internally. This can’t really be happening now, why is his body like that? Another embarrassment is the least he wants. He could go to the bathroom, sneak away, get rid of it and get back to bed, because, yes, when Sam opened up like this, he didn't want to end the moment way too early. He wants to enjoy being close to Sam, his scent, his hands, the feeling of his firm body. It is just too good. Jack shifts carefully, not even an inch per second, Sam shouldn’t wake up. What Jack didn’t take in the equation was that Sam is a hunter. And hunters have insane reflexes. Jack hasn’t even moved his hand far enough to take Sam’s away from his belly when Sam stirs. 

“Hey, mornin’, Jack”, he mumbles, burying his nose in Jack’s blond hair. 

Jack wants to throw himself in a river right now, Sam will notice his hard on. He just will, he knows it like he knows that Sahara, the world’s fastest cheetah surpassed Usain Bolt by almost 4 seconds per 100 meters. Which is nothing he can say right now without making it even more awkward.

“Morning Sam”, he says, blushing. His hand resting on Sam’s now.  _ And he’s praying Please don’t go farther down, please don’t go farther down, please don’t go farther down please do-- _

Sam doesn’t go farther down but he feels that Jack stiffens and is holding his breath.

“Are you okay?”, he asks, kissing Jack’s exposed neck and Jack melts, bites his lip but still - the moan slips out and his body shivers. This is a spot that is super sensitive and he loves and hates the feeling at the same time. 

“Y-yeah, I just-”, Jack stammers, “I wanted to, um… go use the bathroom.”

Jack’s hips just faintly rock back and forth but at the movement he can feel that Sam’s … oh God, Sam’s cock is pressing against Jack’s ass. He moans again, presses his fist against his mouth, he just can’t withhold the reactions of his body and his heart starts racing, his breath hitches. Is this normal too?

Sam chuckles softly. “I see. This happens to all of us, too. No need to be embarrassed.”

“But I am embarrassed, my body is out of control.”

“I wonder that I’m the one to tell you that, but this is nothing you necessarily need to control and, it’s actually quite enjoyable to just… let things happen.”

Jack gasps. “What do you mean by that? I can just go to the bathroom.. get rid of it…”

Sam chuckles again, his hand moving downwards. Jack’s fingernails leave tiny marks on his back of Sam’s hand here. When these big strong fingers just rub over Jack’s cock, still covered by fabric, he cries out.

“I painfully remember yesterday, I don’t want to…”, Jack sighs, “... to ruin another pair of clothes.”

Sam’s nose rubs along the back of Jack’s neck, and his hand doesn’t stop. Jack bulges in the touch, gulping hard. Sam is really just giving him an opportunity to do what Jack wants to do for ages. There are kisses placed in his neck, on his shoulders and Sam’s fingers,  **_fuck,_ ** _ they feel so good. _

“Take a deep breath, Jack. If you really want to stop, get rid of it and we cuddle for a bit afterwards, that’s fine by me, too. I just feel it - after yesterday, you say you couldn’t really enjoy it, because you were overwhelmed. But now, I can help you. And to be frank, I would love to touch you.”

“Really?!”, Jack chokes out, it sounds scandalized even, but he doesn’t mean it like that. “I mean, oh Jesus, I’m sorry, Sam, I want you to touch me…”

Warm breath meets Jack’s ear as he turns his head around as much as he can and looks in Sam’s eyes. They’re a little glassy but he can see something in them that makes Jack’s stomach twist. It’s the same feeling like yesterday, like he’s getting sick. But in a good way. 

“I want you to touch me”, he then whispers in a thin voice again. 

Sam’s huge body shifts a little and he kisses Jack, gently first but when Jack moans and opens his mouth, there’s no stopping. Yesterday made Sam realize something too, and he needs Jack just as much as Jack needs Sam. 

Jack moans in Sam’s open mouth and Sam echoes, his hand wanders under the fabric of the boxer briefs Jack wears and touches Jack’s cock for the first time. Jack squeals and breaks away, heavily breathing and with a heaving chest. 

“Like this I will cum just in a second”, he croaks. 

“Don’t worry”, Sam replies, his voice raspy and now full of desire for Jack, “Even if you cum just now, your body will have a great refractory time, you’ll be ready again in a minute, I bet.” He chuckles. “It’s okay.”

“I want to enjoy every second of it, I want it to last.”

Jack is very serious about it and Sam notices. 

“Okay, don’t worry, I’ll go slow. How do you do it when you masturbate?”, Sam asks.

The Nephilim turns around, his face turns hot. He never called it that, at first he just waited for this sensation, the hard on to go away, later with Hunter, he didn’t even need to touch himself that much. A thought, the sight of something arousing, or just gently pressing the bulge in his pants and he came.

“I never really needed to touch myself”, he then confesses, face pressed in the pillow, “I read about it, it’s normal for teenagers to have random erections and that I cum so easily, I think one or two times I just- uh- I rubbed it. Just up and down the length once, not like the guys do in porn videos or how Hunter did it in his…” Jack stops. He doesn’t want to think about Hunter. Not now. Not when he’s with Sam.

Sam seems to feel it, he hugs Jack, pushes his arm under the angel's body and then crosses it over Jack’s chest, the other hand is still just lying on the intense erection. He holds on tight to Sam’s strong harm holding his chest. “Thank you”, he mumbles.

“Not for that. It’s okay, your body is indeed not used to sexual stimulation, but we will manage, okay? I can touch you and you give me a sign every time you think you’re about to come and I stop. You think of other, non sexual things to cool down a bit. And if you cum anyway, again, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ll just try again. And when you’re alone, in the shower, or in the mornings, you will do what we will do now. You touch yourself and you stop when you’re close. You’ll get a grip on it.”

“Okay”, Jack says quietly.

“Is that a yes? Is it really okay?”, Sam asks.

Jack nods now and his answer is way stronger. “Yes, I want to try it with you, damn, there’s no one else I want to try it with.”

And he’s dead serious about it. No one else will ever touch him but Sam. Jack doesn't want anyone else but him from the moment he was aware humans were sexual beings. What sexuality is. That’s what Jack wants. 

“Sam, please touch me like you would touch yourself. I’d like to know how you do it.”

Sam utters a moan. It’s a deep vibrating sound deep in his throat and Jack never heard him making this kind of noise. It lets his heart jump violently.

“Do you like this?”, Jack whispers, “Hearing things like… how I’d like it?”

Sam clears his throat but he can’t deny his own arousal now, the hard cock pressing against Jack's ass is very telling. His breathing is telling, too. How big, how thick, Sam feels. Jack imagines how it will be to feel it, in his hands, maybe in his mouth one day,... Oh lord, will they ever have sex and Jack will have to take Sam’s cock? He doesn’t know much but he is certain this will need preparing. 

“I have to admit, Jack, I’m mostly about pleasing my partner. That is what gets me going the most. So, when you tell me you’re curious about something or you guide me, intuitively, yes that turns me on a lot. Your feedback is essential. Not only for consensual healthy sex, but also… yes, it gets me off. When I know I gave you the best pleasure possible, I’m truly satisfied.”

“So you like encouragement?”

“Yes, that’s also feedback.”

Sam hums and then, slowly, gently, he wraps his warm and rough hand around Jack’s cock and Jack moans softly. 

“Yes, that feedback. Don’t hold back…”

Jack nods, his hands hold tight on Sam's arm but one wanders down south and cups Sam's hand that still, lightly and without much pressure jerks Jack. When their hands touch both moan. The Nephilim‘s hips jerk back and forth, giving Sam a rhythm to work with, they find a mutual pace and Jack indeed doesn't hold back, he moans open mouthed and eyes closed, the pleasure washing over him, his hand guiding Sam and he stops him abruptly when he feels getting too close.

“Oh God, I'm so close already Sam..”, he breathes. Then gulps down the feeling in his throat. The fight between his need for release and his need to be touched and feel pleasure from Sam’s hand. 

“Shh, okay. Take a moment. Think of that scene in ‘The Martian’ you laughed so hard at.”

Jack indeed knows what Sam means and giggles. “You mean  _ Aquaman _ ?”

“Exactly.”

“He really caught me there. I didn't expect he'd come back to that thought.”

Sam laughs too, his thumb just softly rubs Jack's tip now, spreading pre-cum. Jack is sensitive, he whimpers at the mere touch and Sam whispers “Damn, Jack, you leak a lot…”

“Good feedback?”, he says with a grin.

He knows the answer, Sam's deep breathing, his squirming tells Jack everything he needs to know. With a sigh he leans in the hunter's touch, letting go feels a lot like falling, but knowing Sam will be there to catch him.

It doesn't feel like it's about simply making Jack cum, it's so much about trust and getting to know each other that Jack almost feels funny about being horny in the first place. This kind of intimacy is something Jack longs for, more than anything else. His fingernails leave pink traces on Sam's tanned, wiry arms. Arms and hands able to kill but just now, they give Jack the best feeling in the world. He draws closer again, his voice is trembling when he begs Sam to go slower.

“Sam, I don't know how long I can last…”, he moans, “I want to melt in your arms so badly, I think I need to…”

Sam utters a deep, low pleasure noise, stops his hand again. 

“Oh, love, you can let go whenever you want to… it’s not about performance. Enjoy yourself…”

“You talk so knightly about it, pleasure and performance”, Jack says in a thin tiny voice.

Licks sweat from his lips. "Will I be able to last and enjoy myself at the same time someday?”

“Oh, yes, you will. All you need is a little experience… and patience.”

“Patience is none of my virtues.”

Jack presses Sam’s hand against his throbbing cock like he tries to ease pain that's not there. He’s in the sweetest pain he could ever be.

“Please Sam, make me cum, make me yours… I want to let go…”

He says it in such a quiet tone, he whispers it, embarrassed but also so very close already, he fears to sound as young as he feels like right now. He squeezes Sam's hand now until it finally, oh God, finally, continues to jerk him off. Long and rhythmic strokes, it's not enough. Not enough!

Jack cries out, “please, ohh God please, harder, I’m so close, I’m so fucking close….” And it's like a force of nature breaks over Jack's body - Sam's rhythmic jerking gets harder and and harder, Jack winds underneath the touch, he feels like crying, biting Sam's arm and when he feels the orgasm rushing in he calls out Sam's name, followed by, “I’m cumming…!” And then he finds relief, his hips jerking in Sam's strong, skillful hand -- thick milky ropes of cum cover Jack’s and Sam’s hands, ruin the shorts, ruin the sheets and none of them cares right now. Sam doesn’t stop, he gently massages Jack through the most intense orgasm he’s experienced so far. The touches make him wince and sob in the aftershocks. It takes a moment for him to calm down, his forehead pressed in Sam's arm. A faint shining blue cloud of Grace leaves Jack's mouth unnoticed.

Sam gives him all the time he needs and when Jack turns around to look him in the eyes both look wild. Not satisfied, still hungry. Jack feels incredibly dashing when he shoves his hand down Sam's pants. 

“Sam, did you like that?”

Sam's eyes glisten and he bites his lip at the sensation of Jack’s hand down his boxer briefs.

“I liked it a lot, but, more important, did you?”

Jack nods. 

“I loved it. I want to do it again…”

His hand shyly rubs up and down Sam's whole length and Sam sighs.

“God, Jack, you don't have to do that, if it's too much…”

“It’s not”, Jack replies, totally caught in the moment and the heavy feeling of Sam. “I want it. Do you want it? You always ask me if I want to do something, but what about you?”

Sam is silent for a hot second and Jack fears a word of rejection, a ‘no’, oh please no, don’t let Sam say ‘no’ to this. 

“I will always think of you, first, about whether you feel comfortable, okay? What I want will be secondary.”

“That’s not an answer I can interpret as approval or dismissal”, Jack says with a tremble in his tone. 

Sam laughs silently, “Sorry, I mean, yes, I want it. Because you want it, too.”

This is finally an answer that is clear, maybe the clearest, most precise approval Jack will get from Sam right now. Jack kicks out of his boxer briefs, they need to go to the laundry anyway and then he pulls down Sam’s boxers. Slowly. He gulps, because, yes, feeling it is one thing. But now he will see Sam naked up close, he didn’t wear a shirt to sleep, only his shorts. It’s not that Jack is afraid of what he will see. He’s crossing another line. A consensual, sexy line, but nonetheless, he gets suddenly and wildly aware how much of a virgin he is. 

“Are you good?”, Sam asks, getting a grip on Jack’s hand that rests on the seam of Sam’s briefs. 

“Yes, I’m good, I’m really good, but I’ve never seen another person naked.”

“I do not have to undress if you feel uncomfortable with it.”

Jack raises an eyebrow. “It’s not exactly like you’re doing something against my will, I just need a moment to come clear about that, you will be the first, that it’s happening now and that it’s good.”

“So, you’re being just shy?”, Sam asks sheepishly. He keeps Jack’s hand steady, then kisses Jack’s forehead lightly. 

Jack is on fire again just by the touch of Sam’s lips. 

“Shy, but Sam,  _ I want it. _ ”

With that said Jack pulls on Sam’s shorts. Sam helps him, just as knightly as he always is and Jack blushes deeply as he sees Sam’s cock springing free. Sam is shaved, something Jack didn’t care much about so far - but maybe he should now? And, by all that is holy, he is indeed big. Thick and long, rock hard and twitching when Jack touches it. Jack can’t help but compare it with his own penis, and it’s no competition. Jack is smaller, but hard again, too. Sam pulls him in an embrace, breaks the spell that is upon Jack seeing another penis the first time and kisses him. Gently. He indeed is a gentle giant, even though Jack has seen Sam in hand-to-hand combat and knows, Sam can use his body as a deadly weapon. Being in his arms, right here, right now, feels like an entire different timeline. 

“I kind of feared being naked around you”, Sam whispers, his voice low, tickling Jack’s arousal just more. 

“Because you are, how would I say?  _ Blessed _ with that?”

Sam snorts. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

“Cas and Dean joke about your cock being cursed. Everyone who rides it, dies?” 

Sam snorts again, louder this time, and Jack isn’t entirely sure if it’s because he’s amused or angry. 

“Yeah, they like saying that. Not every person I sleep with, dies.”

“Now that’s reassuring. I won’t die when I touch it then?”

“Find out.”

It’s the first time Jack really can count as Sam being the one making an offer like this. Not in his usual manner. It makes the angel shiver. His hand worms between their bodies, they’re close, but Jack wants to crawl into Sam and stay there, that’s how badly he needs him. His cock feels heavy and even bigger and as Jack tests the waters, jerks slightly, Sam moans, just softly. He’s relaxed, not as tense as Jack was just a few minutes ago and his big hand, big enough to crush a blood orange with a single squeeze, helps Jack out, shows him how to touch Sam. Jack is happy about the guidance, he’s curious but he also knows that Sam probably needs more than just a little fumbling to cum. Other than Jack, who has so much to learn still. His heart is punching his ribcage, that’s how it feels, how excited and aroused he is to touch Sam, and then, with a fluent, quick and damn slick movement Jack straddles Sam, he has gotten him on top. Jack blushes again, looking down at Sam, their cocks rubbing against each other.

“Sam!”, he sighs, “Oh God! Will we do it?”

“It?”

“Have sex now?”

“We already have sex, in my eyes. There’s no need for penetration, you know? Stay like this if you like. I have an idea you might enjoy.”

Sam rummages in the drawer of his nightstand and finds a bottle of lube. 

“I thought sex is when you… you know…”, Jack admits. 

But Sam doesn’t laugh. He would never. 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s just words, everyone defines it in another way. Penetrative sex is what most people just call sex, but actually, in my opinion, you have sex the moment you start touching each other, with the intent to pleasure each other.”

Jack is dizzy, he wants to keep going and when Sam spreads lube over both of their cocks and he wraps his hand around both of them, Jack pants and instinctively thrusts back and forth. 

“Just move with me.”

That’s easy, Jack’s body tells him already what to do, the friction of Sam’s hand, the friction and the touching of their cocks make him go crazy, his mind goes blank as a sheet and all he can think about now, is to rub his cock on Sam’s, feel the twitching, the throbbing at the tight knot of pleasure building up in his stomach. He doesn’t even care he’s on top of Sam, Sam can see every movement, can see his parted lips and the half closed eyes and how even Jack’s nipples harden. Jack even adds his own hand and jerks in Sam’s rhythm, soon he misses Sam’s lips and he leans down, still getting off on the friction and kisses Sam open mouthed. 

“Sam”, he breathes, his lips still touching Sam’s, “this is so good…” 

Sam’s free hand grips Jack's blonde hair, such a possessive gesture, Jack cries out, not in pain, he feels pleasure by being handled like this. Something seems to be unleashed in Sam and he sits up, with Jack in his lap. Their hands shaking and jerking, sucking wet noises of their slippery cocks and Jack rejoices, Sam takes him a little more and Jack holds onto Sam, keeps begging for kisses. Jack is close very soon, way too soon again, but he needs the release of this knot in his stomach. 

“Sam, I’m gonna cum… fuck, I’m gonna cum… Look at me”, Jack pants.

Their eyes meet, their glances lock up and Sam’s mouth opens, and silently he hums “Cum, baby, cum with me, I’m close…”

Jack’s shivers are hot and cold down his spine, this is something he wanted to hear, needed to hear.  **_“Sam!”_ **

It’s a lot, Jack cums in strong and hot spurts, he wants to watch Sam cum, see his cock twitch and spill but he’s hypnotised by these hazel eyes. Jack shakes, jerks through his orgasm and Sam follows,  _ finally _ . The grunts, the almost violent grip in Jack’s hair, oh God, this is too much. This is heaven. Jack collapses against Sam’s shoulder, Sam’s still rocking through the aftershocks, his hand unwilling to let go. 

They stay like this for a minute, maybe two, maybe five. Jack doesn’t know. All he feels is the heaving of Sam’s broad chest, his own sweat wetting the shirt Sam gave him, his own deep breathing like he’s been under water. Sam’s arms hold him now, hold him tight, keep him safe, make him feel wanted and protected. 

With a satisfied, deep sigh Jack looks up and kisses Sam’s wet lips, the kiss is sloppy, far from sexy, but it’s just perfect. 

“That hand in my hair…”, Jack slurs, “that was…”

“Too much?”, Sam asks, breathing out loudly. 

“No. I loved it. It shows me…”, damn, still out of breath, “shows me I’m yours.”

Jack rolls off Sam’s lap, the fluids are drying up and he feels icky about it, he feels the need to shower. 

“I need to clean up”, he mumbles, but staggers a little when he tries to get out of his shirt. 

Sam gets up and helps him out of his misery, chuckling and hugging him tight. 

“Yes, we should shower. Then breakfast? The others should be up by now, too.”

Jack looks at his phone that says it’s past 8am. 

“Are we late for anything?”

“Nah, but do you smell the bacon and the coffee? Dean’s up.”

Dean is still a problem for Jack, he feels weird around him and he certainly won’t go out without Sam. There will be mocking, he knows it.

“I’m very hungry now”, Jack then admits while Sam draws him towards the bathroom. 

Jack feels like he’s walking on air, wobbly legs and his head in the clouds. Being in love is great. Being in love with Sam is awesome. And that tiny moment when Sam let his guard down and pulled his hair?

Now, that’s something Jack really enjoyed. He knows Sam will hold back until they’re settled, but Jack is eager to tickle this possessive side out of him again. 

He wants to be Sam’s. Sam’s completely.

  
  


[Outtake]

When Sam and Jack enter the kitchen, Cas sits at the table, sipping his coffee and Dean is making another serving of scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes with maple syrup. He wrinkles his nose when he’s aware his brother and Jack are here now.

Castiel greets them with a cheerful “Good morning, sunshines!”

Dean raises his eyebrow, notices Jack is wearing one of Sam’s flannels. 

“You reek of sex”, he says to Sam. 

Sam turns around and informs him with a deadpan voice. “You don’t. Loser.”

Cas chokes on his coffee.


End file.
